Since co-authoring All the Love: Healing Your Heart and Finding Meaning After Pregnancy Loss, I’ve had the pleasure of meeting others who provide care, compassion and service to those who have suffered pregnancy loss, fertility challenges, and perinatal deaths. Many have suffered such losses, too.
Allison Schaaf, founder of Miscarriage Hope Desk, is one of them. Miscarriage Hope Desk is the friendly resource she wished she had during her years long struggle with infertility—including a total of 5 miscarriages. Allison holds a master’s degree in nutrition communications from Tufts University, which she says has proven vital for poring through the research she references throughout the Miscarriage Hope Desk website and the Moving Forward program, as well as for PrepDish.com, her meal-planning website.
Allison runs Miscarriage Hope Desk from her home in the Texas Hill Country about 1 hour outside of Austin, TX with her husband, 2 sons, 2 cats, 24 chickens, and a few beehives. We connected for this interview via email.
Meredith: I love the name Miscarriage Hope Desk. It implies something tangible (a place), something emotional (a state of mind) and something symbolic (a way of viewing the present and future). It transcends grief yet is also made necessary by grief and suggests a space—both internally and externally—where new perspective can be found. Thoughts?
ALLISON: Yes, I love this interpretation of the name and you hit on so much of what I was trying to accomplish in creating Miscarriage Hope Desk (both the name and the resource!).
Meredith: “Take the next-indicated step.” That term is a lifesaver to me during and after trauma (and on any ordinary day, too). It’s a form of mindfulness that stems from connecting to one’s intuition and pairing it with reflection. How do you see next steps in this space of loss?
ALLISON: When it comes to loss, I find it’s important to remember that sometimes the next step may not look like a “step.” It is so important to give yourself pause and breathing room and from there, figure out your next steps.
Meredith: What is the Moving Forward Program? What is the process like?
ALLISON: The Moving Forward Program is unique in a few ways. One, it is created by someone who has walked the path of recurrent loss but also has input and oversight from medical experts. While it is both practical and evidence-based it also emphasizes the importance of connecting with yourself and/or God to know what is right for you. It does not push for going a specific route, but instead, encourages users to find their unique path.
My goal with this program is to help women find the path that is right for them. The 6 weeks of online content (including videos, meal plans, guides, a lab tracker, downloads, a guided meditation and more) goes into topics from dealing with your spouse, wellness, alternative therapies and more.
Meredith: For the reader who is suffering, please leave us with three things you’d like them to take away and keep for days ahead.
ALLISON: First: Know that you are not alone. There are other women going through similar struggles. Seek out stories of hope when you are feeling down and lost. Be encouraged by others who have walked a similar path.
Second: Find the right support for you. This may include doctors, therapists, and other practitioners. Don’t be afraid to keep searching until you find someone who understands your situation and “feels” like a good fit.
Third: Pause if you need it. Take time to be still and breathe.
This post was written by Meredith Resnick, co-author of All the Love: Healing Your Heart and Finding Meaning After Pregnancy Loss.
